some thought about yesterdays news

I take a coffebreak and turn on the telly. Kunskapskanalen(that is the knowledge-channel) shows a program about Pompeii and old rome. the lady that presents it is lovely, she tell all about how the romans used their slaves as inhuman like a piece of furniture but how some of them slaves got to be married to their owner and be set free. Free slaves that got to become husband or wife to the owner. Mary Beard tells explicit how one of the slaves chores was to do sex duty. The rich household had an own bath for those services, the mosaic at the entrance floor showing a man with erect penis and then the pool floor showing more naked personas lets the historic storyteller guess that here was the sex room, where slaves that did not even own their own body got to do things for their master, man or girl or woman an boy? Who knows?

I switch channel and there are reporters eagerly waiting for president Hollande to make a statement about his personal affair, but when he talk he only mention the job situation and how to make France matter in the EU and to help out by making a new job arrangement program, make some changes for France.
Then the head press journalist get to ask a question, and he trips delicately with the words first thanking for the president mentioning them prisoned journalists abroad and hoping freedom for press yada yada, but the question is will the presidents wife be joining him to the Obama meeting in few weeks time?

Oh Irony. No, he is asking about personal affairs. The humanity needs to know is he having an affair or not?!   How about the jobs? Isn't that more important? I am jobless so I wonder about the jobs more than the private matter of a man and woman. The wife in question hospitalized so leave them alone I think quietly. If I were that wife I would not like to see the newspaper of tomorrow throwing images out there for everyone to see about those private matters... not the choice a woman makes when getting married to someone? For better or worse.

In ancient Rome, the tombs of a rich household contained 24pairs in katakomb like square(48persons!) The slaves and master of the household indifferent in death. The freed slaves of a man got to share his grave. In aristocrat England it would be unthinkable to have the lord in same familygrave as the household.
The romans had another kind of lifestyle for sure or is it the same as we have today? Is it just forgotten about? Looking back in time and seeing dramas of the past makes one see the humanity is one of a kind, the same no matter what age, the difference of today is the Big Brother(read 1984 by George Orwell) eye that sees all and can document it to the delight of others. I feel sick of the ever curiousity that explores all over, that want to know all, its sickening, thats my thoughts of the day.  

Personal january

Yes, I'm an amateur artist. I know it´s not anything anyone would buy... I got maybe more paintings I´ve begun to paint with an idea and then in reality it does not turn out the way I imagined. Kind of like the relationships I've had. Things doesn´t turn out the way I imagine, perhaps because I am a dreamer and there is noone that can read minds are there?
I counted that it is about twenty paintings I have not found a way to complete yet. Its work in progress, although I've managed to do portrait work in between and they are finished paintings, so its the odd ones out really. Too bad on the hours colouring these not good enough work of arts. Oh well I'm a mess.

Ted Talk "loose transcript" Andrew Solomon

  Andrew Solomon - Depression, the secret we share. (Shows pictures of famous persons that had depression Emily Dickinson, Goya, ) 1991 mother died, relationship dead, 3 years later, did not want to do anything. - Everything to do seem like to much to do. Instead of feel good to have friends what alot to do. Difficult to eat. You know it is ridiculous to be depressed. Feel myself doing less, thinking less. Then anxiety. If you told a month only. A sensation of being afraid all the time. Too painful to be alive. Lay in bed thinking something is wrong. Finally the phone rang. His Father rang him. Who am I if I cannot be myself? What if the medication do me someone else. There be something. Merge and relapsed. Have to be in therapy for life. Is it philosophical or...
The treatment is a disaster, I hope in the future. No thing of love without desprair. Depression, grief and sadness. Loss, six months later feel better it is grief. If loss and still at a loss six month later, then it is depression.
Andrew Solomon interviewed depression people. It is a serious thing.
Lithium without the medicin she katatonic. I was singing to myself Where have all the flowers gone over and over to get the voice out of your head. - Think about killin self.
Thats true but I think what to focus about now is what to have for breakfast.
Play videogame an hour. The healthy thought killing more than the depressed group thought of killin little monsters.
A husband and wife hiding their depression to eachother. Hiding medication in different places in the same
If u have braincancer.
If you feel better you get better from depression.
How medication - making little things from yarn helped a woman. (Look out if she had OCD too)
Rwanda, westafrica, east africa - Treatment - take the people into sunshine and music and community, no the westernes just took them to a room and make them talk about bad things in this damp room.
A woman of 7children just laid on the bed, covers over her head, abusive husband. 6months later she is single mother can help the kids with their homework, she got happier kids and says: I asked the lord to send me an angel and he did, she said.
Think it through. What is the mechanism of resillience? Those who hide from it get worse. Those who have it. Im glad to have been in hospital 40times. Learned to give all the things I need. Have found a soul inside myself says Andrew Solomon. Found a way to love my depression, to cling to the reasons for living.

Let's hope for getting better each year

Happy new Year!

Steve Job's Advice

(Me, Linda, have collected what I think is the essence from Jobs famously Stanford speech 2005)

Connect the dots (på svenska se sammanhang)
You can only connect the dots
                  looking backwards
Start over Love what you do
the only way to do great work is
love what you do
So keep looking - Don´t settle
Tell yourself is this what I would like to do
for the rest of my days?
Am I happy with now?
Can I change it?
What is better than this?
If this is it. This is the last day.
Stay hungry
     Stay focused
Would you like to do what you do today?
Do what you love to do
Don't compromise.
Do what you love to do.
Follow your heart and intuition,
they somehow know what you want to do.
 -Get over it and start all over again.

A fresh start.

- Correct translations pictionary app? does it exist already?

for example  _the same picture for illustrate the meaning of the word. (Substantiv)

tuoli, chair, stol, le chair  maybe make own drawings to the word

match, kiss, suudella, puss  for education purposes eh?

table, bord, le table, pöytä  student get to spell correctly

kissa, cat, le chat, die katze, katt  maybe a voice attached to the word also
dog, chien, hund, das hund, koira 
skola, die schule, koulu, school
gå till skolan, mennä kouluun, go to school, die schule zugehen, avants le schole, avanti il scuola,
studera, studieren, study, opiin, studiare
The thing with languages is that they are all from different beginnings, but at the ultimate beginning maybe there was only one language?
Since Babels tower according to the Bible we have different languages but somehow they work together/ make sense/ have some similarities and through the years, centuries, millennias the languages has merged into eachother, the travellers have brought words and with new discoveries new words are made up. Today with the interweb internet thing language seem to get globally connected in a very fast pace compared to the old days, like only 30 years/50 years ago before the personal computer was invented, before the internet was made public, before the computer age.
I don't think the youth today know how to appreciate this marvellous world that we are living in. I am so lucky to have grown up before the computer age. I was outdoors playing with my best friends and I think back at those days as the happy time in my life. You are young only one time. If I get kids someday I will love them unconditionally and let them be kids for as long as possible. I will not give them technology before they are old enough. I will let them live in the real world where the grass is green in the spring, snow is white in wintertime, trees all colours in the autumn and in the summer the children may swim in the blue ocean.
   And that's all I got for you now. I have to get my essae written today. And hold the line open for phonecalls about work.

 Sketch 1 and 2 Idea

 Illustration 3 and 4 of idea

In thrapy 3 loneliness

- I feel so lonely, it's like noone cares about me.
- How do you mean?
- Everyone got someone to rely on but me. My friends got kids and familys of their own, I'm just a single     woman with not much friends.
- But you got friends and still feel alone?
- Yes, its that point when I sit alone in my room in the evening and I feel that something is missing. I so would want to have a kid to care for.
- In  that moment of loneliness what do you do? What are you thinking about?
- I get sad and put on some music, then I hear in the song someone else have this same feeling as I have. So I figure out that I am not so alone after all. Its a human feeling.
- Yes thats right. Its a human feeling to like to be a part of the society and community. Of course you look to the friend with a child when you don't have one. She can be secretly looking at you too and miss the time when she was so free to do anything because you ought to know that with children comes obligations.
- I would like that to have the child to care for, to have the obligation towards another small being, a part of me it should be. Or any other child in the world. Just someone to care for, perhaps an animal. I just don't understand the people that choose not to have kids because kids are the joy of life.
- Mhm, so having a kid would help you from loneliness. What if you cant have children? And if you dont meet "the right one"?
- Thats when I get sad. What if I will never be able to have what I wish to have.
- What if anything is possible?
- How?
- All you have to have is the Will and the Word. Go on make a wish and it will come true.