- I saw a bird flying away with a worm in its mouth today.
- Don't you mean that you saw a bird with a snake in its mouth today?
- No, what is it with you and all these double entendres?
Sade - No ordinary Love Wondering about storytelling? Me too. I prefer to leave space for imagination, fill in the character for urself. Is it a man to man conversation? Or it two old ladies? Or a boy to a girl? I don't know. But the story changes by the character. By who says this or that. Whispering or talk it out loud. And how is it said? Is it in a bedroom or outdoors? Where is it said. In a pub between two personas or walking in the park But I prefer to leave it open like a poem, like a comic line sort of whatisitcalled? Oneliner. Short poem or Short storytelling? Short snort Short snort? Yeah short snorting of laughter story (if that is a word in english language)
But it isn't funny. If you can't hear the way it's said it isn't funny. Jokes are a visual experience are they not?
- Today it is time to remember the bomb that fell over Hiroshima 70 years ago.
It is all over the twitter. You can see interview of some of the survivors on the BBC News.
- Who cares? That something happened so long ago. A world war will never happen again.
We have learned our lesson. Thanks Einstein, inventor of the atom bomb. It stopped the war.
- No it didn't! It just made the Japan surrender to the Americans. Then the cold war was holding Sovjet and America on the edge. Then the war did not end until recently, when the Berlin wall fell down.
- But that was 1990's it is at least 25 years ago?
- Yes it is that recently. As a environmental interested I see the years as seconds or less.
The beginning of the universe was a long time ago. The dinosaurs happened some time ago.
The age of the human race is a fart. A loud fart and since the invention of the nuclear power plants and freons a quite smelly and toxic fart for mother Earth.
You can see interviews of the survivors of Hiroshima on various news sites. It really happened. A 6km diameter wide cloud was seen from the place that bomb was dropped. All over the streets people ran for their lives. A doctor that saw that cloud went into the Hiroshima hospital tent to help the burned victims. He layed bandages and whatnot on the patients to soothe, heal and treated thousand patients that day, couple of weeks later all was dead and the doctor chose to quit his job. Haunted by the day the bomb fell he can remember and tell about it to the camera photographer 70years on.
Don't mention the war. I began school as the wall fell down. I still remember the poster on the door in my first classroom. I saw the date of Berlin wall fallin, apparently it was an accident that made the reporter/ politician was it? tell everyone to smash it down. A lucky misinterpretation of the television viewers made people gather to take the wall down brick for brick Nov 9. 1989. That is when the war ended methinks.
In Sweden we have had this weekend some people gathering to take down the Sweden Democrats commercial for against the immigration, about 12000 people signed up for going to demonstrate against the right winged rather unnecessary commercial banderolls telling about how beggars are unwanted in Sweden. People need to be. One says why are we to have them Romanians here to sit and beg for money to get a ticket to go home again. They did not sit and beg for money here before. What are they doing here on our streets, begin for money instead of being in their home country working? What is it that doesn't work in Romania? Why Sweden democrats? What is wrong with some people?
The Japanese has worked 70years for Peace. No anger, just sorrow. There is a peace concert in Hiroshima now in 2015.
I wonder if they will play John Lennons - Imagine?
This is Mamas meeting with the angry young man while the other two is calming affects.
He stood there with his arms crossed on the veranda as the three women went up the hill to
meet him. Mama started with plump words. He argued back from irritated to aggressive words
almost raised hand to hit, then her friend jumps in which he doesn´t know for to ask him to
calm down.
Just words were flying across about history past events and how someone should have
done this and that. Accusations with no reality connection.
Would you like some coffee?
- No thanks we're not staying.
- No, I don't want any.
- No (wish I could say yes but I can not cross them, her eyes says)
He walks inside and comes out again with a strange cigarette holder with liquid in it
and sits down on the sofa outdoors.
- What is that? the young woman wonder pointing at the strange cig.
- Electric cigarett, want some?
- No I don´t smoke (is it not something else he´s smoking? she wonders on)
Now he's relaxed.
- You didn´t have to come here, you could just have made a phone call.
- We needed to see what has been done to this place, I took the lawn mover with in the car, but see
you have cut the grass, wanted to see how you are doing of course. I am taking some laundry from
here. We come back in so and so time when vacation start. Some people work hard all year and
then want to get some spare time at the summer cottage, we´ll have friends as sleepover guests as
well.
- I´ll find some other place to be.
Oh, I forgot to show him the bills, mama says on the way home (but last time we showed them to him he just send them over to grandma and she can't pay and we don't want to upset grandma do we) You look fine could have been said. Looking at the flowers in a garden café. That is the look of a smooth criminal.
- Oh its nothing really I am just worrying for everything
- You can not be more specific?
- Well, there was this thing I saw on the telly, you know its silly really
- Tell me more
- You know there was this professor Brian Cox that was invited to talk about what worries him the
most in the whole world and what he said got me thinking, just so. Jimmy Carr was first making
jokes, then Brian Cox walks in and tells about his list of the end of the world worries from five to
one. Theres a volcano, a komet, the plague amongst worries and at the top of the list is according to
the professor, the stupidity of humans
- Oh, darling, that is nothing for you to worry about! What are the chances of that volcano to erupt?
Or the komet to hit earth? Very tiny. The stupidity of mankind is a bit that really doesn't matter either.
You go on, do what you can do, teach -er
- Ye, one can only hope for the next generation to become better at sustainability...
Oh I remember being a child and having no worries at all, it was bliss to play with my neighborhood girlfriends all day long until dinnertime came and a parent called me home again To be cared for, dressed up, fed, brushed hair - like a living doll Now I am in transition - or on a train station perhaps just thinking about where does the next train go? Am I even on the right platform? Should I even take a train when there are 99 luftballons? Sweet memories of times soon forgotten or are they replaced by worries? Ah,
You worry if you do
You worry if you don't
- It´s a New Age thing.
- No, it isn't, its as old as time itself.
- I disagree it is flower power stuff
- Are you kidding me?
- Well isn't it?
- Meditation is to be aware of the present, now, be kind to yourself and others. It has ethics that you should follow too
- Yeah that sounds like flower power oohh meditate hear the bell ring
- Will you shut your face, if you are to misbehave I will not speak to you. (did I say that out loud?)
- Feisty, here take a joint.
- I don't smoke, it is mere toxic... I think I feel about smoking the same way you feel about meditation dear. The opposite attract - attend - attention - attraherar? (translation needed)
Meditation is a new age thing like flower power is it not?
No it's an old way from before our time counting to become aware, to reach the enligthenment and Nirvana
- I feel so lonely, it's like noone cares about me.
- How do you mean?
- Everyone got someone to rely on but me. My friends got kids and familys of their own, I'm just a single woman with not much friends.
- But you got friends and still feel alone?
- Yes, its that point when I sit alone in my room in the evening and I feel that something is missing. I so would want to have a kid to care for.
- In that moment of loneliness what do you do? What are you thinking about?
- I get sad and put on some music, then I hear in the song someone else have this same feeling as I have. So I figure out that I am not so alone after all. Its a human feeling.
- Yes thats right. Its a human feeling to like to be a part of the society and community. Of course you look to the friend with a child when you don't have one. She can be secretly looking at you too and miss the time when she was so free to do anything because you ought to know that with children comes obligations.
- I would like that to have the child to care for, to have the obligation towards another small being, a part of me it should be. Or any other child in the world. Just someone to care for, perhaps an animal. I just don't understand the people that choose not to have kids because kids are the joy of life.
- Mhm, so having a kid would help you from loneliness. What if you cant have children? And if you dont meet "the right one"?
- Thats when I get sad. What if I will never be able to have what I wish to have.
- What if anything is possible?
- How?
- All you have to have is the Will and the Word. Go on make a wish and it will come true.
This day I took the bicycle to the store, I had a package to leave at the post office and some food to buy. (Posten- the post-office in Sweden is inside food-stores nowadays). I rang the bell and I saw him come towards me. He was working today. I felt the awkwardness come creeping in. He recognized me (I saw it in his eyes), he took the parcel and looked at the weight of it. I asked if I could get an A-prioritaire mark for that. It comes in the post tomorrow anyway, he says. (Its the same country post, dumb girl). But you need another poststamp. Oh I don't got one with me. He looks at me, writes the cost on a piece of paper. Show this to register cashier personal, I will put another stamp on your letter and see that it goes, he says and smiles. I thank him and walk away, I have still the grocerylist to go through firstly, hope I remember the note. Yeah. I did my shopping in a hurry, to get out, to get some air, to breathe.
What more can I have said to him? Smiled more and winked maybe? I did do that, didn't I? I could have stood still and watched him get that extra poststamp on the parcel, letter/thing. Waited for something more? I trust him. Some people just have that look about them. Comfort, warmth, hot-blooded type, that searching eyes. Should I have said something more? Wondering still.
- Trust issues. I don't trust anybody. That's my problem.
- So you rather sit at home alone instead of going out?
- Because I've been there and done that. I've seen it all.
- Very good, and don't you wish to experience it all again?
- Oh yes I do. And No, I want to do something different. Now I can do something different because I know what happened last time..
I won't drink too much at a party and fall asleep in the snow afterwards.
- Yes, you were so lucky that the ambulance got to you in time.
- You know what? I have no recollection of that. I know I woke up in a hospitalbed and I was so surprised by it. The last thing I remember was talking about Jim Carrey films by the dinnertable with some guys. I don't even remember going out of her apartment.
- Mhmh. Well you're not alone, this is something that happens to alot of people.
- What do you say? I am not alot of people. I am the good daughter. Why are you making me angry?
- Its natural to feel.. What is it you feel? Disappointed, at your "perfect image". You are only human, my darling dear. And superstition is normal. Everyone has trust issues, every body hurts
Go out and have some fun again, but be careful with your drinking.
In therapy
- What are you afraid of then?
- Only the unknown. If I do do those things I have thought of doing, I expect some kind of response.
All I want is likes and no dislikes. I mean What will I do with dislikes? I have searched for the ney sayers on twitter and given my response to them. Why is it so? I'm actively searching for those who think different than me instead of belonging to the group of same thinkers? Those who think alike? What is my problem?
- There is so many ways of saying it but it all comes done to the will and the word. Let it be known what you want and it will come to you.
- Ok, what is it I want?
- To not be afraid. You will have to begin to think more positively. Reach out...
